Wyatt acknowledged that if his job was precious to him, he’d have to learn to curb his sarcasm there. Is it possible they’re not trying to be difficult with you, but are simply trying to understand you, and a sarcastic tendency is getting in the way?" I honestly needed clarification of a simple statement on job satisfaction because of the tone. I feel I got a sense of what your co-workers struggle with, though. “Maybe to you it does,” I continued, “because it’s your sense of humor. “I’d like you to just listen to me parrot back to you what you said and tell me how it comes across.”Īfter mirroring Wyatt’s statement, he replied, “It sounds like you’re joking.” “Well, yeah, I’ve been trying to get in that department for two years!” That last statement, about loving your job, do you actually enjoy it?” I think I can help bring some perspective and get you on the right track. "Wyatt, you’re pretty new on this team, and you’re new to me, too. Seizing the moment as an example I swooped in. “Ohhh, I love my job,” said Wyatt, “Why would I want to mess with people?” I asked Wyatt to fill me in on that complaint. They explained, “We don’t know if he’s joking or serious and he gets irritated if we ask." Wyatt was referred by his new supervisor when colleagues felt that, while he’s good at his new job and a decent guy, he’s hard to read and therefore hard to have on the team. “What’s so hard about understanding me? I speak English, people!” he quipped. Wyatt’s sarcastic demeanor permeated the room as he complained about people misunderstanding him. Said person gets their cake and eats it too. Most people can only handle so much of them, even if they are truly a good person, because of their sarcasm. Oftentimes sarcastic, passive-aggressive souls don't want people getting close due to an inability to handle emotional intimacy. It is also serves as a repellant along with the smug demeanor many sarcastic people adopt. It allows them to expel brewing contempt in a manner that feels safe. They therefore employ sarcasm, a sort of cloak-and-dagger approach to communication. These folks also often harbor passive-aggressive characteristics and simply don’t have the ability to be real about emotions, or fear confrontation were they to speak their mind. The truth is, chronically-sarcastic people frequently rely on this obfuscation to express emotions and communicate. Targets may not be sure if the sarcastic one is sending a message or if they are simply joking. It's as if a strange screen of attitude exists between the sarcastic person and their target. Such a sarcastic demeanor may be confusing.
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